I know some people out there are skeptical about Maryland’s new football uniforms, but as A.J. Francis says in this WNST promo, “we’re probably gonna be cleaner than you’ve ever seen us in your life.”

That means clean as in filthy, not clean as in well-scrubbed. Filthy as in sick, not as in muddy. Sick as in slick, not as in bed-ridden. Etc.

Also, A.J. Francis did a wrestling-style promo, and the Ric Flair strut.

Anyhow, I feel pretty conflicted about the 16 uniform choices, plus my head can’t comprehend them all, but I know that I like both helmet varieties an awful lot. If you can’t be different, why even wake up in the morning? I mean, it’s like Kerouac wrote, and we all “lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies,” even if that venture has a turtle-shell pattern. See below.

Also, Uni-Watch wrote that the unveil was “a corporate masturbation session, a retailing showcase, and a sham.”