The Washington Post

Andray Blatche’s ‘Grand Finale’ party

1) Host Lapdance Tuesday in the first week of May, 2011.

2) Hold offseason workouts that none of the team’s stars attend, and pass out “Play Off Starts Here!” t-shirts.

3) When the season finally begins, tell your teammates that you’re “ready to die for this.”

4) Home opener: “How y’all doing? This is your captain, Andray Blatche.”

5) Get booed for like 12 straight weeks.

6) Record perhaps the NBA’s first-ever stat line of “NWT-Conditioning.”

7) Start going to the gym at 3:30 a.m.

8) Tell reporters that your weight-loss strategies include cutting your hair.

9) Miss 20 straight games for conditioning work.

10) Host a “Grand Finale” party on the night of the Wizards’ final game, 51 weeks after Lapdance Tuesday.

(Via @RecordsANDRadio)

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