(By Katherine Frey/The Washington Post)

Here’s approximately how that went.

Pre-game ceremony, hoopla, Langway, Hoiles, puck drop, warm, hot, humid, ice, puddles, ice, sloppy, slushy, never again, mush, glare, wet, puddles, ice, goal, sweating, sauna, tropical, ice, hotter than an equatorial pizza oven in hell, sloppy, HOLY COW SOMEONE THREW A CRAB ON THE ICE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, warm, hottest building in the Western Hemisphere, giant lakes of water big enough to house worldclass aquariums, ice, ice, ice, ice, ice, ice, ice, ice.

To me, the most compelling part of all this was the crab on the ice. Luckily, The Post’s Katherine Frey captured the crustacean in all his or her glory.