(Toni L. Sandys/The Washington Post)

The results for the week 8 winners of the NuVo Protection Plan have been tallied and this week was a blow out! John Beck of the Washington Redskins takes home the prize solo, as a first time recipient of the NuVo Protection Plan. Beck blew away the competition as he was sacked 9 times over the weekend — ouch that’s got to hurt! NuVo Condoms sent a week supply of condoms to Beck so he can hopefully recover and won’t be left unprotected next week! Come on Redskins — you can’t let your quarterback get roughed up that badly.

Just imagine what NuVo would have written had the 10th sack been added to Beck’s tally earlier in the week.

And now, to mix the lowest of culture with something a bit higher, let’s go back to the archives and see how the previous Skins sack records were covered.

First, from a 27-17 home loss to the St. Louis Cardinals in November of 1978:

A member of the Redskin organization merely made a choke sign yesterday when asked to account for Joe Theismann being sacked nine times in the 27-17 loss to the St. Louis Cardinals at RFK Stadium.

A member of the Cardinal organization put it more euphemistically. He said the Redskins quarterback hesitated, then held the ball too long.

Theismann is regarded as highly mobile, but he was thrown for an aggregate loss of 74 yards and was intercepted three times.

In their 11 previous games, the Cardinals had recorded just 20 sacks. “It’s disheartening as hell,” Theismann said after the game.

Then there was the Oct. 4, 1964 meeting with the same Cardinals, who were favored by 8 over a winless Washington side. The visitors didn’t cover, but won the game, 23-17, and the quarterback was again dejected.

“We knew it was coming,” said Redskin quarterback Sonny Jurgensen, principal victim of yesterday’s St. Louis blitz, “but I thought we should have handled it better.

Jurgensen was sitting dejectedly in front of his locker after yesterday’s 23-17 Redskin loss to the Cardinals. The boyish glint was gone from his eyes, and in its place was a faraway look of sadness.

“Have you ever been manhandled like that before?” The question came at Jurgensen like a Cardinal linebacker and Jurgensen sidestepped it neater than he did any linebacker during the game.

“I’ll have to see the films before I can answer that one,” he said. “But seriously, I can’t remember...If I was, it was a long time ago.”

Ok, “a faraway look of sadness” replacing “the boyish glint” in Sonny’s face? Remember that next time someone argues that newspaper sportswriting used to be so much better. Blech.

Anyhow, Dave Brady wrote that the Redskins offense “suffered an almost complete breakdown behind a wet paper line, and that Jurgensen ”pounded the ground with the ball in anger during his last series, as he was sacked for the eighth time. Then George Izo came in, and was sacked for a safety on his second play.

And yet both times, the Redskins somehow managed to score 17 points. Which is 17 more than zero.