I do some Web video things for The Washington Post, and it requires me to speak quickly and to jump to silly conclusions and to say things I’m not sure if I believe. For example, I recently said the Caps would not earn home-ice advantage in the first round of the playoffs. This likely makes me look exceedingly silly, were anyone to watch the video and listen to what I was actually saying and then compare it to actual events.

Still, I’m not as important as Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon, and so when the former Washington sportswriters tackle the Caps’ nine-game winning streak on “PTI,” it’s incumbent upon me to provide a transcript. Just so you can then write a comment about how much you don’t care what Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon think about the Caps, of nothing else.

The game was “Word Up.” The question was “Your Washington Capitals’ nine-game winning streak is blank.”

The answers?

“It is meringue,” Kornheiser said. It is nice, it is frothy, it’s on top of the lemon pie, but if the lemon pie isn’t any good, it doesn’t mean anything. The Caps have to prove themselves in the playoffs. They’re a team that’s in the playoffs all the time. Is this gonna help them beat the Penguins? Is this gonna help them beat the Canadiens? I mean, that’s what they have to do. So at the moment, I’m gonna go Food Network on you: it’s meringue.”

“It’s irrelevant,” Wilbon agreed. “It doesn’t matter, because of all the things you said in the back half of your argument. It’s the playoffs. The capitals have won the regular season point chase, whatever that’s called. They’ve done that, all right?” And it doesn’t matter.”

“They’ve won the President’s Cup,” Kornheiser said.

“And they lose,” Wilbon continued. “They get 3-1 leads on teams, all of that junk. They’ve had the MVP. Has n't Ovechkin been like two-time MVP?”

“I don’t think so,” Kornheiser interrupted. “Two-time MVP? I don’t think so.”

“They’ve done all the stuff you can do in the regular season, and not won in the playoffs,” Wilbon concluded. “Irrelevant.”