Reader Ryan — who has refused several offers to buy Redskins season tickets this offseason — sent along this e-mail he received from the ticket office on Thursday morning.

Subject line? “It's Official...!”

No idea what exactly is official, but if you buy season tickets, your “signing bonus” will be a free Redskins jersey of the No. 2 overall pick, referred to here as Mr. “Draft Pick.”

Buy four or more tickets, and the jersey will be autographed. Sorry, AUTOGRAPHED!

As Ryan notes, a certain Heisman Trophy winner better beware of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.