Since the Redskins Radio Network broadcasts were often more entertaining than the Redskins Football Team’s performances, I’ve occasionally brought you highlights of the radio call. One last time, then, here are a few of my favorite nuggets from last week’s game, in this case the season-ending loss to the Eagles.
Sonny: This looks like one of those 17-10 games, doesn’t it?
Sam: Well, hey, it’s the NFL, which means Not For Long. This is a typical game between these two teams. Always has been.
Larry: Cam Newton’s gonna be the rookie of the year, no doubt about that. He’s had an outstanding year, over 4000 yards passing for the rookie quarterback out of Auburn.
Sonny: He scored 14 touchdowns rushing, incredible.
Sam: Hey, he’s what, 320-some pounds, a rookie. Look what he did to the Redskins defense.
Larry: Well, I wouldn’t say 300. He isn’t that big.
Sam: Yes he is.
Larry: Cam Newton?
Sam: Yeah. Remember down there in Carolina, how he ran the ball?
Larry: 300 yards passing. He doesn’t weigh 300 pounds.
Sam: Yes he does.
Larry: Well, he’s been eating a lot of food down there.
Sam: How much?
Sam: That’s big enough.
Sonny: Well, it is, but it’s not 300.
Sam: He’s probably drinking Gigolo Pee. I mean tea. Tea. Bigelow. Bigelow.
All: [Uproarious laughter.]
Sam: I’m sorry.
Larry: That’s Bigelow Tea.
Sam: I apologize
Larry: Sam, I told you not to stay out past midnight last night.
Sam: I didn’t! I got too much sleep!
Sonny: No more sushi for him.
Larry: No, that’s it, he’s done with that dinner. Anyway, McDonald’s brings you the scoreboard....
Sam: You haven’t heard anything yet, I guess. Oh goodness, I apologize for that.
The Doughty Late Hit
Larry: It is caught by Avant at the 43-yard line and a flag on the play, a late flag on the play. Alright, they’re not gonna flag Reed Doughty on that hit, are they? You’ve got to be kidding me.
Sam: Well, it was a big hit. Helmet to helmet I think.
Larry: That is just a horrible call, again.
Sonny: That was a bad call.
Larry: That was a horrible call. He missed him.
Official: [Announces penalty against Doughty]
Sonny: He whiffed him. Does that count?
Larry: That’s a horrible call
Sam: Pick up your handkerchief, for Christ’s sake! This is pro football.
Larry: I think he missed him. I don’t think he hit him.
Sonny: Yeah, I do too.
Sam: I mean, that’s one of the worst calls I’ve ever seen.
Sonny: He whiffed.
Sam: Maybe they have a little bet on this game
Brent Celek’s TD
Sonny: Sam’s defense has quit
Sam: They gave up. I mean, they were in the 20-yard line, and two plays later they’re into the goal line, into the goal
The Next Drive
Sam: What’d the defense give up? It looks like the defense just quit too. I mean, to give up that kind of run? You know they’re just gonna run to kill the clock. If they don’t, this is not professional football
The Colts’ Top Draft Pick
Sonny: The thing the Colts should do, they should take Luck, and make Peyton Manning the head coach, but the quarterback playing head coach, a playing coach. He plays quarterback and he also coaches.
Larry: Wait a minute, what are you talking about?
Sam: I don’t know either.
Larry: How, how would that work?
Sonny: It would work. He coaches them now. He has their entire offense. He runs the offense, he gets a defensive coordinator, and he’d be a playing coach. Sam Huff was a playing coach, coached a position.
Sonny: And he’s just coaching the quarterback and would be the head coach.
Sam: You might have something there. You know, quarterbacks, they make things more complicated every once in a while.
Sonny: It’s not complicated, it’d be the playing coach as a quarterback, and he would teach Luck how to play the game. He’s gonna be coaching him anyway.
Sam: Well, there’s a guy like Michael Vick that looked like he could be a pretty good coach. He’s an athlete.
Larry [Changes subject]