(Susan Walsh/AP)

“You have to trust me,” Leonsis said. “Alex isn’t fat. I’m fat!”

Leonsis went on to challenge fans to find any blobby stuff on his star player’s torso.

“When you see Alex today, tell him Ted said, ‘I’m allowed to pinch your stomach.’ ” the owner said, via Chuck Gormley.

“No one tried,” Ovechkin later reported, also via Gormley. “They won’t find a stomach.”

And in one final bit of fatness reportage, Hoffman said Leonsis spoke more generally about his team’s weight.

“From what I’ve seen in terms of strength, endurance and body fat, this is the best offseason we’ve had,” Leonsis said. “I think it’s maturity.”

Either that or Shake Weight.

Also, full disclosure: I’m bald.