“My worst thing that happened over the weekend was the early exit of my VCU Rams from the NCAA tournament,” said Urungus, whose Weird Metal band hails from Richmond. “I was really looking forward to Richmond going up in flames again, but we won’t have any riots this year.

 “The best thing that happened this week is Peyton Manning didn’t sign with the Washington Redskins,” Oderus continued. “Whoa! And that’s not because of the Redskins; that’s good for Peyton Manning. I’m a huge Redskins fan, and that’s why I would never want Peyton Manning to come to Washington. Because he would be afflicted by the curse that has afflicted that team ever since the Native Americans cursed them in the parking lot of RFK Stadium after their last Super Bowl win, I don’t know, about 50 years ago.”

Anyhow, in the interests of noting the D.C. rooting interests of every mildly local celebrity, there you go. Urungus is a Skins fan. Or possibly Oderus is a Skins fan.