Based on the Fox News segment below, legitimate Occupy Wall Street (OWS) protesters must eat dirt and communicate with others via tablet. Stone tablet. They must live in poverty and deprivation and possess nothing of value, especially an Apple product.

Here’s how Fox’s Neil Cavuto articulated the expectations:

We noticed plenty of these protesters who are railing against capitalism on Wall Street. Well, they use use a lot of Apple products. Can they have it both ways?

Continuing, Cavuto noted that Apple makes a lot of money but is not “getting many of these protesters’ wrath.” He asked guest and money manager Scott Martin, “Why not?”

Money Manager Scott Martin responded the way good Fox guests respond, doing everything possible to keep the discussion headed exactly where Cavuto was charting it.

I’ve been down to a lot of these protests, and they’re using Apple products to communicate, which, believe me, they have the right to do but it’s against the foundation of what they’re talking about. So look — a lot of these kids, if you will, “bogart” which means borrow or use even, wireless signals of the Starbucks or Paneras around the corners which is at best hypocritical and maybe at worst criminal.

Thus solidifies one of the media’s most reliable points of attack against the protesters: That they have things.

The Daily Mail put together a huge presentation on the matter. It includes photos of protesters with cash! Protesters who appear to be privileged college students! Here’s an actual caption from the piece:

A man at the gathering wore True Religion jeans, which cost more than $300, while a glamorous young girl came in trendy knitwear.

That man and that glamorous young girl have to be bored trust-fund kids, Rush Limbaugh’s broad-brush characterization of the movement.

Money Manager Scott Martin, like a lot of folks who’ve gone on Fox’s air to denounce OWS, sounded scared by the protesters, telling them to “go to Washington” to talk about jobs. “They’re in the wrong spots,” said Money Manager Scott Martin.

Limbaugh, Cavuto, and Money Manager Scott Martin should relax. America, after all, is on the case. With their pricey jeans and iPhones and their reliance on inherited wealth, the protesters may just prove a bit less likely to act on all of those Marxist impulses that we hear so much about. The government would make a lousy iPhone 5.