The Washington Post

The best earthquake tweets

As you’re probably aware, D.C. was rocked by a 5.9 earthquake: just serious enough that many evacuated buildings, but not serious enough to keep people from cracking jokes about it on Twitter. Here are some of the better ones:

@pareene: “I think Chris Christie just jumped into the race.”

@robdelaney: “Did anyone I have a crush on’s husband or boyfriend die in the earthquake? DM me.”

@ModeledBehavior: “More and more scientists are questioning whether that was a real quake. It is a theory that’s out there.”

@snowed_in: “Breaking: Carole King feels the earth move under her feet.”

@chashomans: “I guess I better get an intern working on a ‘Five Things You Didn’t Know About the Mayan Serpent God’ listicle.”

@MichaelSLinden: “US Geological Survey’s budget was cut by some $20 million this year. #justsaying”

@daveweigel: “DEVELOPING: Earthquake turns Gallup offices upside down. Obama now at 62% approval”

@jdickerson: “Everyone calm down. If this is an earthquake on the east coast we’re supposed to react ironically.”

@balycooley: “I don’t want to die at a freelance job, for god’s sake.”

@pattonoswalt: “Not to panic anyone in NYC, but a screaming John Cusack just drove by in a limo that was missing a door.”


@politicoroger: “We wouldn’t be having earthquakes like this if Hillary were president.”


@davidfrum: “DC public schools did not dismiss. The kids are tougher than Politico.”

And a few from us:

@ezraklein: “The Ocean’s 13 team is presumably stealing something pretty valuable right now.”

@bradplumer: “A nuclear reactor near epicenter of VA earthquake is designed to withstand a 5.9-6.1 quake: We got 5.8”

@dylanmatt: “In retrospect, I resorted to cannibalism rather fast after the earthquake.”

Related content:

Earthquake shakes East Coast

What caused the Va. earthquake?

Cellphone service falls short after earthquake

Earthquake shakes up D.C. office workers’ orderly routines

Day after quake, D.C. area awakes to closures

Photos: Earthquake strikes nation's capital

Video: Damage in Tysons Corner

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