That’s the gist of a fake letter from Sean Connery to Apple CEO and co-founder Steve Jobs that went viral on Twitter this morning. Wishful thinkers have been delighting in actor Sean Connery’s pointed refusal to be Apple’s iMac spokesman.
“Mr. Jobs,” the letter reads, “...You have nothing that I need or want. You are a computer salesman — I am (expletive) JAMES BOND!”
The exchange is, of course, too good to be true.
The letter originates from the humor site Scoopertino, which has other items of Apple “news”such as the shocking report that Arnold Schwarzenegger is the father of Apple design head Jony Ive.
The site says the letter is the last of a series of communications between Connery and Jobs — revealed in the “book” iMaculate Conception: How Apple’s iMac Was Born — as the Apple CEO tried to get the film star to appear in iMac ads.
Scoopertino even has a fake ad with the delightful tagline, ”The children are snuggled. Santa’s opened his pack. The man is Sean Connery. The gift is iMac.”
“Sean Connery” was trending on Twitter this morning as users shared the correspondence, many calling it the “best letter ever.”
Well done, Scoopertino. Well done.