It was columnist Dave Barry who dedicated a 2002 column to Talk Like a Pirate Day — then just an inside joke between two New Yorkers, John Baur and Mark Summers — and launched the international phenomenon. If you’re not skilled in the dialect of a seafaring rogue, Barry offered this sage wisdom for would-be pirates:
“To prepare for Talk Like a Pirate Day, you should practice incorporating pirate terminology into your everyday speech. For example, let’s consider a typical conversation between two co-workers in a business office:
BOB: Hi, Mary.
MARY: Hi, Bob. Have you had a chance to look at the Fennerman contract?
BOB: Yes, and I have some suggestions.
MARY: Okay, I’ll review them.
Now let’s look how this same conversation would sound on Talk Like a Pirate Day:
BOB: Avast, me beauty.
MARY: Avast, Bob. Is that a yardarm in your doubloons, or are you just glad to see me?
BOB: You are giving me the desire to haul some keel.
Here are a few of the Talk Like a Pirate Day events for adults and kids that have turned up locally.
• If you “arrr” with feeling, you can score yourself some deep-fried booty: Krispy Kreme locations, including the one in Dupont Circle, are offering would-be Captain Jack Sparrows a free glazed doughnut; come dressed like a pirate and Krispy Kreme will surrender a full dozen. The company requests that you leave your swords and such at home, however, because brandishing those would be more scary than funny.
• The pirate-lover’s mecca Piratz Tavern in Silver Spring will mark the occasion with a night of “sea shanties, rum and pirate madness.” The fun kicks off at 7 p.m.
• For kids, the Eastport-Annapolis Neck Branch of the Anne Arundel Public Library hosts pirate storytime for preschoolers at 10 a.m. on Wednesday.