Commerce employees in the dark ages. (Helayne Seidman/For The Washington Post)

Dark ages — Employees of the Commerce Department’s Economic Development Administration have done the unthinkable: survived offline (that’s right folks, no e-mail, no Google, the works) for 12 weeks, thanks to a vicious virus. Our colleague Lisa Rein has their Jack-London-like tale of survival.

Old school — Silly Sen. Richard Lugar. The Indiana Republican is stubbornly refusing to turn himself into a rabid right-winger, despite a primary challenge. “If the question is whether Lugar is too mild for this highly polarized moment, his answer has not been to reinvent himself. Instead, his pitch about making the world safer by helping African farmers get better yields is a double shot of decaf, resolutely out of sync with the anger of the times,” our colleague Melinda Hennenberger reports.

Hug it out — Baby-kissing? Fine. Handshakes? Okay! But politicians shouldn’t have to hug voters, argues Alexandria Petri.

Quote of the day — “Some of us are looking to ban the scrunchies.” — An unnamed State Department official weighing in on Hillary Clinton’s hair accessories in the new issue of Elle magazine, per the Reliable Source. “Buried in a glowing, gushy profile is the reason Clinton grew out her tresses: Long allows more options (chignons, ponytails, etc.) for camera-ready hair on a hectic schedule,” they note.