There have been many excellent entries from around the country on where to put the interceptors to protect us from hypothetical missiles from Iran and North Korea — although the generals say they don’t really need the system.
Without further ado, the winners:
* “Locate one near Fenway Park to protect it from Iran, North Korea and the Yankees.” — John Modler, a retired federal employee and prior contest winner from Catonsville, Md. (After last weekend, Nationals Park also could use some protection from the Yankees.)
* “Accident, Md. and Pork Barrel Pond, Mass.” — Zachary M. Hosford, a think tank research associate at the Center for a New American Security.
* “How about building a base to protect the Smithfield, Va.,” the Ham Capital of the world. “Call it ‘pork’ for pork’s sake.” — Harry Meem, a retired copy editor for the Richmond Times-Dispatch.
* “The Jersey Shore to protect Snookie, the Hamptons to protect the banksters.” — Leslie Beil, a writer and hot-glass artist in Alexandria.
* FedEx Field in Landover and another battery near Redskins Park to protect the “strategic brain trust of the organization and the talented players.” — Wesley Davis, a retired fire captain from Prince Georges County now living in Conway, S.C.
* “How about Syria, Va.? That way, if the Iranians launch a missile at us, we can say we had the good people of Syria shoot it down for us.” — Doug Williamson, an international wildlife trade consultant and prior contest winner from, naturally, Syria, Va.
* “Capitol Hill — or at least around the House side,” so when the “non-existent” missiles are fired, “the interceptors that don’t work can protect” them. — Barry Blechman, who works at the Stimson Center, a foreign policy think tank.
The West Coast already has a system and is thus invulnerable to attack, so we asked for East Coast sites, but we’ll include this one.
* Cable TV viewers “know there is one place that is attacked over and over again by Iranians, Soviets, North Koreans and assorted aliens from outer space — Hollywood.” — James F. Schumaker, a retired foreign service officer and prior winner who, wouldn’t you know, lives about 30 miles away in San Clemente, Calif.
Congratulations to the winners, T-shirts headed your way, and thanks to all for entering.