E & J Gallo — makers of such fine products as Boone’s Farm and Turning Leaf, as well as higher-end, estate-bottled offerings--apparently wants to put a new spin on sparkling beverages. They’re asking regulators for the all-clear to tint their spirits with “mica-based pearlescent pigments.”

Mmm, sounds about as delicious as a peach-schnapps wine cooler (but at least it’s a more enticing add-on than that icky pink slime being used in ground beef). They claim that the additive is safe and has no impact on the “human environment.”

An FDA spokesman explains that the glittery pigments are already used in products like frostings, candy and chewing gum, and that Gallo is simply seeking a new use for them in distilled spirits.

Interesting, but we think we’ll stick with champagne.