Mitt Romney has a stay-slim secret. (Stephan Savoia/AP)

Sounds a lot tastier than resorting to his wife’s healthy turkey burgers, which the Post’s food critic has proclaimed “juiceless.”

And it’s unlikely that Newt Gingrich will be the GOP presidential nominee, so it’s a good thing he’s pondering new career moves. How about Newt Gingrich, comedy-sketch writer? The former House Speaker had some ideas for Saturday Night Live, which famously mocked his obsession with developing a moon colony.

“Far from backing off, I invite ‘Saturday Night Live’ to come to Huntsville to tape one of their skits,’’ he told a crowd gathered in Huntsville, Ala., our colleague David Fahrenthold reports. “They can tape it at the Space Camp. Because I want to restate: America has a destiny in space. That’s who we are.’’

And the Loop has bemoaned the loss of colorful characters from Congress, but it seems whenever a door closes, a window opens--”Joe the Plumber” will be on the ticket in Ohio.

Elsewhere, Rep. Darrell Issa D-Calif.) is like the Lorax: he speaks for the trees. The chairman of the House Oversight and Investigations committee is complaining that the Obama administration is needlessly killing trees by submitting thousands of documents in response to his panel’s request for information, our colleague Lisa Rein reports.

We can only imagine the White House has a solution to this knotty problem...