Alan Simpson ( Julia Schmalz/Bloomberg News) Alan Simpson ( Julia Schmalz/Bloomberg News)

Former senator Alan Simpson can dole out budget advice … and sex counsel.

The Wyoming Republican, well known these days as one half of the deficit-reduction report that went nowhere, is apparently also available to provide young couples consultation on keeping the fire alive in their relationships.

A New York reporter, Anna Sale, spoke to Simpson and his wife for survival tips after Sale’s then-ex-boyfriend, who was living in Wyoming, turned to the former senator for help getting her back. The responses she got are extraordinary. Oh, and the couple are reunited.

The 82-year-old Simpson told Sale that it’s more about intimacy than “a couple of horny people.”

“Scratch my back. Give me a hug. Just a hug. I’d say, okay [pant-pant-pant]. Just a touch, you know, a whack on the fanny in the kitchen,” he said. “Or whatever, whatever.”

To say Sale’s podcast is worth the listen is an understatement: