Groupon is now in the “quiet period,” the time between a company’s filing for an initial public offering (IPO) and the decision on whether the filing is deemed “effective” by the Securities and Exchange Commission.

The Internet deals site filed its IPO on June 2, and during this period, the SEC limits the information that companies (and “related parties”) can release to the public. As companies await the SEC ruling, they are restricted in countering any critical articles that show up in the media.

Last Thursday, TechCrunch posted a critique headlined “Groupon: On Second thoughts, we really hate those guys.” The post explained why the folks at TechCrunch decided to “pull a dramatic 180” on Groupon, and it introduced a four-part series on “everything that’s wrong with the company, its business model, its founders, their children, pets and fashion choices.”

But Groupon has found a way to respond to the jab. Meet “Groupon the Cat” — a feline with a snarky personality shown lounging on a cloud while wearing a necklace roughly the size of its face with the word “Groupon” engraved on it.

The company introduced its alter ego on Monday in a post headlined “The Groupon Guide to the ‘Quiet Period”:

At the bottom of each Daily Groupon feature, users can find Groupon the Cat, slouching majestically across a cloud of pure wisdom. Groupon dispenses ancient truisms that still have relevance to our modern lives, as evidenced by today’s entry:

Groupon the Cat then dispensed the following four points of wisdom regarding “some of the traditional hazing rituals you can use to torture companies in a quiet period”:

Wait until the company is sleeping to smear scream-activated bees on its face. Lesson Learned: Don’t believe your company’s own “buzz.”

Photoshop the company’s logo to appear to be shaking hands with James Buchanan, America’s worst president. Lesson Learned: Everything you see or read about a company is true, if it’s on a computer.

Use the company’s cell phone to text a vote for the new M&M’s color to be a sickly ashen gray. Lesson Learned: Customers aren’t capable of making their own decisions.

Kick sand in the company’s face. Lesson Learned: If the company survives, it’s time to move on to sand’s close relative, powdered glass.

Write disparaging articles about the company. Lesson Learned: That’s what they get for trying to be a company.

(h/t TechCrunch)