(Smithsonian National Zoo)

There is absolutely nothing that sparks D.C. media navel-gazing like panda news. And nothing divides more people in this city than panda news. But when it comes to MISSING pandas, that takes the cake. This particular panda is a small red panda, according to National Zoo officials.

His name is Rusty. And he’s already got his own Twitter account to boot. It took all of an hour. (UPDATE: The number of accounts has passed a dozen, making this bit officially lame.)

Needless to say, the next few days in the Woodley Park/Adams Morgan/Mount Pleasant areas will be interesting for dog and child walkers alike. This also puts back into overdrive my biggest fear ever from the zoo: an ape falling from those overhead lines. But that’s a different story.

Right now, all the comedians are out on Twitter. The jokes range from pop culture to political, obviously. Here’s a sample.

A timely Nats zinger and a zoo news reference in one tweet? You, sir, win first prize.