The turkeys are just hanging out on the black carpet. (<a href="https://twitter.com/MrDanZak/status/405367024567988224">Dan Zak/The Washington Post</a>)
The turkeys are just hanging out on the black carpet. (Dan Zak/The Washington Post)

On Wednesday, President Obama will pardon some turkeys.

I’m going to repeat that because I feel like it bears repeating: Yet again, the leader of the free world is going to stand next to a couple of turkeys and determine which one is more deserving of the title “National Thanksgiving Turkey.”

To promote the tradition of a Turkey “Hunger Games,” as Joe Heim called it last year, the White House set up this Web site where you can learn about the turkeys. One has a “proud strut,” while the other has a “steady and deliberate” walk, which is now information you can say you’ve learned. You can even hear them gobble, if you are in the mood to listen to a turkey gobble.

And the White House sent out tweets like these:

And so a nation waits with bated breath to see whether the people will choose the turkey that ostensibly likes Lady Gaga or the turkey that purportedly favors Beyonce (which is ridiculous, because everyone knows turkeys like Haim).

Meanwhile, the turkeys are just hanging out at the Willard Hotel right now:

Is there a turkey black carpet? Of course there is a turkey black carpet, these turkeys are not simply going to stand around before a crowd of reporters on the regular floor like a couple of commoner birds:

If you’re curious, here are five things to know about presidential turkey pardons. Did you know the turkeys got to spend the night at the W Hotel in Washington last year? Did you get to spend the night at the W Hotel in Washington? Because two turkeys did.

In the end, one turkey will be formally crowned as the National Thanksgiving Turkey, because this nation needs a National Thanksgiving Turkey. (We’ll have a story online after the turkey selection is made, but here are additional photos and some video of the turkeys meeting the media.) Both birds will be taken to Mount Vernon for the holidays and then make their way home to Morven Park’s Turkey Hill Farm in Leesburg.

What happens to the turkeys once they have their moment in the sun? Nothing good. As National Journal detailed last week, pardoned turkeys have a very short lifespan, owing to the fact that these birds “are not bred for living, but for eating.”

Meanwhile, their brother — named Delicious, which is among the most foreboding names you can give to a turkey — is in Minnesota, where he will eventually be used by the St. Paul Salvation Army to feed 80 people.