If you balled up every identity complex, stereotype and label that people put on Washington, D.C., you’d get the latest video released by the group looking to bring the Olympics to the region in 2024. This ad is pathetic on multiple levels.

For one, “This Town” is not an actual thing that people call the nation’s capital. It was the title of a book by Mark Leibovich, itself a subtle jab at the people who take themselves serious enough to even bother with such a phrase. Its omnipresence in this 2:30 minute clip is bizarre.

“In this town, we have learned that no one of us is as good as we are together. In this town, where I work, we have our spats and quarrels. We have our spats and quarrels. But we find unity when it really matters. This town is a little bit misunderstood,” the hodgepodge of politicians and citizens say through awkward edits and oft-repeated dialogue. I thought the goal of these propaganda shorts was to show one’s self off as majestic, not beg for consideration with a collection of people whom we may or may not recognize.

Secondly, what’s with the music? It sounds like the credit sequence from “Forrest Gump.” I’m not saying I need a Chuck Brown song, but the slow pianos are not my idea of Olympic intensity, unless we’re talking about ice skating – which is awesome, by the way. Honestly, if you listened to this without watching the video you would have absolutely no idea what was going on. The word “Olympics” is never even said. “Games” is said, once. In an attempt to apparently shift focus off the Olympic bid, and onto the city and its people, they’ve perpetuated the very myth they’re trying to dissolve, by straying off message into some ubiquitous macro-message about unity.

If you’re looking to land the Olympics, just say that. (Update: There are apparently IOC rules against using that word, specifically, but one could be more creative with such things.)

I’m genuinely surprised at how badly this misses the mark. Every character in this video is too serious, too calculated and trying way too hard. The interspersing of guys who play on Ted Leonsis’ teams, with a gaping hole from the Mystics, I might add, just feels super phony. I say all this as someone that’s wholly open-minded to the city hosting the Summer Olympics. I think getting the U.S. bid alone would be a great exercise in inter-jurisdictional planning and organization.

As for this video though? Awful. But there is one redeeming quality. Shortly after the 1:00 minute mark, a kid appears outside of a school bus and says, “it is in our DNA to roll up our sleeves.” It’s an otherwise innocuous line, except for one thing. He’s wearing a full fencing outfit, helmet in one hand, epee in the other.

That kid is tremendous.