Dana Milbank’s column today, comparing debate zingers to junk food Zingers, is the sort of opportunity that comes along only once in a PostScript’s career. For one thing, Milbank actually went out and purchased a package of Zingers, the like-a-Twinkie-but-chocolate-and-covered-with-icing confection, in order to compose his column, and PostScript was the only person in the office gross enough to eat more than one.

Zing! And for another thing, it meant the comments would be filled with zingers from supporters of one candidate to supporters of the other, meaning all 4,000 comments are specifically designed to delight PostScript with their zest and bite.

Whee! Let’s go!

bes12 keeps the snack food references coming:

I bought Devil Dogs. I ate Devil Dogs. Devil Dogs were my favorite snack. Governor, you’re no Devil Dog.

wwitk2010 believes there’s such a thing, metaphorically, as TOO nutritionally dense:

Liberals live in an alternative universe, one in which you can go to sleep at night knowing your macrobiotic Vegan burgers won’t cause indigestion.

bls2011 composes a poetic zinger, which PostScript must note is the least zingy of all zinger forms:

With apologies to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:


I shot a zinger into the air,

It fell to earth, I knew not where;

For though the President was my intent

I had already wounded the 47% percent.

Not long afterward – a week, maybe two

I finally realized what is so true;

When the golden rule is not your creed

All your gold can’t buy the lead.

highfalls sees a whole convenience store full of empty calories, on both sides of the candy aisle:

Give us something substantive and detailed like “Hope and Change.”

Bondosan’s contribution made PostScript choke a little, though she is famously iron-stomached (see consumption of multiple Zingers):

I like Mitt Romney ’cause he’s crunchy. Although he does flip flop in the mouth a little...

wwitk2010 comes back to zing Milbank:

C’mon Dana, can’t you disguise your slanting at least a LITTLE bit better? Why just another inspid Milbank Democrat-party-writer disguised as unbiased journalistic expression? I’m very disappointed in you.

Barack said if he failed we should vote him out. Let’s do what he has asked us to do.

And nrldj45 zings back on Milbank’s behalf:

Milbank doesn’t have to write articles to please your right wing views. This is an OPINION writer. Sort of like you, only much better.

ScienceTim says Romney has an opportunity to zing Obama, the media, and even the concept of zinging itself tonight:

All Mitt has to do to blunt the criticisms of him is to walk out there tonight and provide the long-demanded substance of policy proposals in one massive blast, showing that he had that knowledge all along but saved it until the final stretch.

Wow. PostScript ventures that that wouldn’t even be a Zinger. It’d be a Moon Pie to the face.