The Washington Nationals on Thursday announced that the team will add a fifth competitor to the famous presidents race, and the Internet is filling up with suggestions about who should be the pick. The Post’s Dan Steinberg wants to see Ulysses S. Grant, Richard Nixon and Woodrow Wilson. The City Paper favors William Howard Taft (a choice I agree with, but for different reasons). But there are so many other options that deserve consideration.
Bullmoose TR — He will lose every race, but in the process he will prevent another president from winning.
William Howard Taft — He needs the exercise.
John Adams — He will be insufferable when he wins, and when he loses.
Harry Truman — Though the announcer will call the race for Dewey.
Ronald Reagan — He won’t race so much as preternaturally float across the finish line, after which he will heal the national debt with his touch.
George W. Bush — He’ll declare victory no matter where he places.
Al Gore — He will be the first past the post, but he will lose on a technicality.
Vladimir Putin — Though every race will be fixed.
Rutherford B. Hayes — This is really just here for ComPost’s benefit.
Joe Biden — He’s already running!
The team will announce its choice at NatsFest on Saturday. Come on, Taft.