The Nobel Peace Prize, “Romney-Rich,” Kim Kardashian, cicadas, the defeat of “Nancy Pelosi,” Pottery Barn, Jodi Arias, shame, revenge and a “pretty little white girl.” They all made their way into the national discourse this week. But how?

Let’s scroll!

1.) Remorse much: Jodi Arias was found guilty of first-degree murder for the grisly slaughter of her ex-boyfriend in 2008. After Wednesday’s verdict, Arias talked to a Phoenix television. “I said years ago that I’d rather get death than life, and that still is true today,” she said. “I believe death is the ultimate freedom, so I’d rather just have my freedom as soon as I can get it.” Okay, then. Mustn’t keep the lady waiting.

Convicted murderess Jodi Arias (Rob Schumacher/AP)

2.) Vision test: Monday’s Costume Institute Gala, or the Met Gala as it is known, is a BIG DEAL. Like, if there’s one night of the year to save your best outfit for, it’s that one. So what on earth was Kim Kardashian thinking? Either Laura Ashley is making an unwelcome comeback or Pottery Barn wants its fabric back. At least her baby-daddy, Kanye West, looked decent. Whoa, wait a minute? Call me old-fashioned, but if you’re going to do all the buttons on your shirt, complete the thought with a tie. C’mon, man.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West (Justin Lane/EPA)

3.) “Nancy Pelosi” defeated!: Actually, Elizabeth Colbert Busch was soundly defeated by Mark Sanford. The lovelorn former South Carolina governor hiked his way to redemption in the state’s 1st Congressional District, a place where the voters clearly have a high threshold for ridicule, pain and scorn. But there really was nothing Colbert Busch could have done. When a voter says on election eve that he was voting for Sanford “because Obama’s agenda is worse than Sanford’s mistakes,” you better start writing your concession speech right away.

Elizabeth Colbert Busch (Mic Smith/AP)

4.) Monster: Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michelle Knight were rescued from more than 10 years in hell. Ariel Castro stands accused of kidnapping, rape and unspeakable cruelty in a house of horrors on a Cleveland street. That’s right, fella. Hang your head in shame — assuming you’re capable of such an emotion.

Ariel Castro (Emmanuel Dunand/AFP/Getty Images)

5.) The best revenge: Al Gore is a best-selling author who has won a Grammy, a prime-time Emmy, a Webby and a Nobel Peace Prize. Yet the former vice president of the United States never got the prize he coveted most: the presidency. Gore hasn’t let his epic loss in 2000 to George W. Bush get him down, though. Oh no. Not for a second. Bloomberg BusinessWeek revealed this week that, by amassing wealth in excess of $200 million, the former senator from Tennessee is “Romney-Rich.” If living well is the best revenge, then Gore is having the time of his life.

Al Gore emphasizes a point at the Milken Institute Global Conference in Beverly Hills on April 30. (David McNew/Reuters)

6.) 17-year itch: After a loooong slumber, cicadas will emerge from underground and swarm us. Not only that, the males will scream for sex at volumes reaching 94 decibels. And this racket will go on for weeks.  “It’s not like these hordes of cicadas suck blood or zombify people,” May Berenbaum, a University of Illinois entomologist, told the Associated Press. Small comfort.

(Daniel Hulshizer/AP)

7.) Quote of the week: “Bro, I knew something was wrong when a little pretty white girl ran into a black man’s arms. Something is wrong here. Dead giveaway,” Charles Ramsey about Amanda Berry.

Charles Ramsey (Scott Shaw/AP)
Charles Ramsey (Scott Shaw/AP)

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