Lindsay Lohan at the White House Correspondents Association dinner in April. (Larry Downing / Reuters)

1. Your new celebrity friends will not be pleased if they think you’re covertly taking photos of them to show off to your non-celebrity friends.

2. No matter how lowly, your status as a Hill staffer will amplify the scandal if you get in trouble, and the boss will hear about it.

Would Christian LaBella’s mysterious cellphone scuffle with Lindsay Lohan have made the front of the New York Daily News if he weren’t a “congressional aide”? No charges have been filed in the oddball incident, which happened after the 25-year-old L.A. native, who works for Rep. John Shimkus got swept up in the troubled starlet’s entourage at a Manhattan nightclub and returned to her room with them early Sunday. She later told police she seized his phone after noticing photos of herself on it and that he reacted by grabbing and pushing her, reports the AP. Officials voided his arrest when they couldn’t substantiate the claim. The two have filed harassment complaints against each other.

As for that glamorous Hill job, we’re told that LaBella is categorized as a staff assistant, aka “the front desk guy,” who has worked in the Illinois Republican’s office since May, according to public records, making about $28K a year — and was still working there as of last week. Is he still? Shimkus’s spokesman declined to comment, saying it’s a personnel matter. But “obviously,” he said in a prepared statement, “the congressman does not condone his actions.”

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