(Mike Segar / Reuters)

“I’m going to come in halfway [through] the church experience and I’m going to have to deliver a sermon that’s going to have to be very impactful.”

Madonna explaining how stupendously high the stakes will be when she performs at the Super Bowl, “the holy of holies in America,” she tells Anderson Cooper on his talk show. “I have 12 minutes to put on the greatest show on earth.” Thank you, ma’am, and godspeed.