“Twilight” is wildly inaccurate, says congressman. (Andrew CooperAP)

“Everyone knows that real vampires and real werewolves don’t date the same girl. This is a travesty that must be addressed by the horror scholars of this generation.”

— Rep. Emanuel Cleaver on the “disgusting” and misleading “Twilight” movies, in a letter last week to House colleagues and constituents reprinted by CQ. Yes, the eloquent Missouri Democrat went on to make a serious point, about Congress grappling with a monster born of its own acrimony — but he got your attention, huh?