I kid you not. The New York Times ombudsman is dismayed that the opinion page is filled with a bunch of lefties.

I kid you not. There are still 13 percent of Americans who approve of the job Congress is doing. Had no idea their staffs and families were so large.

I kid you not. The social conservative “consensus” lasted a day. “Despite Saturday’s announcement that prominent Evangelical leaders would support Rick Santorum for president, the battle for social conservative votes is far from over. On Monday, backers of Newt Gingrich disputed reports that Evangelical leaders had reached a consensus to support a single candidate, as Family Research Council president Tony Perkins had announced following the Texas powwow on Saturday.” Mitt Romney is smiling broadly.

I kid you not. The latest brainstorm in political persuasion from the New Gingrich camp: “Ahead of Monday night’s presidential debate, Newt Gingrich seemed eager to put further distance between himself and Rick Santorum, warning that siding with Santorum was a vote for rival Mitt Romney.” But wait. Couldn’t Rick Santorum say the same. . .oh, never mind.

I kid you not. Texas Gov. Rick Perry, chugging along in single digits, loses another backer. “Rick Santorum got a boost in Florida Monday when one of the state’s top evangelical leaders announced that he is now supporting him over Texas Gov. Rick Perry. John Stemberger, the president of Florida Family Action, was an early backer of Mr. Perry’s, endorsing his candidacy in September when his campaign was taking off. But Mr. Perry now lags far behind his opponents in Florida polls, as well as those leading up to Saturday’s South Carolina primary. Florida holds its primary on Jan. 31.” I guess he didn’t get Newt’s edict.

I kid you not. An actual New York Times headline: “Face-Off With Iran Complicates Obama’s Re-election Campaign.” Priorities, people.

I kid you not. Romney is leading among evangelicals and Tea Partyers in Florida. “When it comes to the candidate voters ‘trust most on social issues like abortion and gay marriage’ he actually leads Santorum 30-21 with Gingrich at 19%. . . . Romney’s even narrowly winning Tea Party voters with 33% to 31% for Gingrich, 16% for Santorum, and 10% for Paul.”

I kid you not. Some pundits actually thought Gingrich would hurt Romney with the Bain attacks. But Marc Thiessen is too smart for that: “When they meet in the green room before Monday night’s debate in South Carolina, Mitt Romney should probably give Newt Gingrich a big thank you. In just a few days’ time, Gingrich has managed has to do something Romney has tried and failed to do for more than five years: rally conservatives behind Mitt Romney.” Exactly right.