What would we do without him? “Joe Biden is performing a public service, God love him. Out on the stump, he renders the case for President Barack Obama’s reelection in all its populist crudity. No dulcet tones. No faux sophistication. No charm. C’mon, man! There’s no time for that when Mitt Romney is descending on America promising to commit the most heinous acts in the history of vampire capitalism.”

What would be do without the no nuke-crowd? “Obama’s ‘favorite general,’ James ‘Hoss’ Cartwright, a Marine who recently retired as vice chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff . . . . led a panel for the no-nuke Global Zero advocacy group that has recommended a radical reduction in, and restructuring of, our already-shrunken and aging U.S. nuclear deterrent. Other panel members included many establishment ‘formers’: Republican senator Chuck Hagel, arms control negotiator Richard Burt, ambassador Thomas Pickering, and NATO commander General Jack Sheehan.” Read the whole thing.

What would we do without an inert president and a no-budget-Democratic-controlled Senate? “Rating agencies are warning that the federal government risks another downgrade of its creditworthiness if it fails to come up with a credible plan this year to lower the federal deficit. The warning comes amid growing expectations that Washington will punt major tax and spending decisions into next year because lawmakers would have little time to address them in a lame-duck session after the November election.”

What would we do without the Democratic National Committee chairwoman? “When pressed on CNN to answer charges of hypocrisy for Barack Obama’s attack on Mitt Romney for his record at Bain Capital as a private-equity executive while actively fundraising from the same industry — in fact, fundraising from the same company, with a Bain Capital exec as a bundler — DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz insists that the comparison isn’t just apples to oranges, it’s ‘apples to coconuts.’ ” Then she refuses to explain why the feds’ layoff of auto workers isn’t the same as Bain’s layoff of steel and other workers. (Really, is she the only person the Democrats could get for this job?)

What would we do without Obama’s revisionism? Obama denies his orgy of spending. But the math says otherwise: “Prior to Mr. Obama, the U.S. had not spent more than 23.5% of GDP — that was in 1983, amid the Reagan defense buildup — since the end of World War II. Yet Mr. Obama has managed to exceed that four years in a row: 25.2% in 2009, 24.1% in 2010 and 2011, and an estimated 24.3% in 2012, up from a range between 18%-21% from 1994-2008.”

What would we do without The Donald? “A top Mitt Romney campaign adviser on Friday disavowed conspiracy theories pushed by Donald Trump, one of Romney’s most high-profile supporters. The adviser said the campaign could not be held responsible for everything that Romney supporters say. Trump is a birther. He clings to the notion that President Barack Obama was born in Kenya, not the United States, despite the fact that this theory has been proven to be baseless.Next week, Romney will be holding an event with Trump. In a CNN interview on Friday, Romney aide Eric Fehrnstrom said the campaign was going ahead with the May 29 event despite Trump’s birther views. ” Hmm. Kinda like taking money from Bill Maher, huh?

What would we do without Russian “reset”? “A Russian cargo ship loaded with weapons is en route to Syria and due to arrive at a Syrian port this weekend, Al Arabiya television said in a report that Western diplomats in New York described on Friday as credible. Syria is one of Russia’s top weapons customers. The United States and European Union have suggested the U.N. Security Council should impose an arms embargo and other U.N. sanctions on Syria for its 14-month assault on a pro-democracy opposition determined to oust Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.”