A family that steals grease together stays together. (AP Photo/Fox)

Gross crime:

“That would be about the last thing I’d want from here is their used grease,” said Bobby Hubble, a construction worker who has been stopping at this cramped Damascus restaurant for decades and is partial to the juicy two-piece chicken plate, with coleslaw, fries and a dinner roll.

The thefts are happening around the country. Here’s what a Google search for “cooking oil thefts” looks like.

I came across a blog post this morning that may or may not implicate Homer and Bart Simpson.

RamblingBeachCat.com headline: “Weird Crime Wednesday: Simpsons did it first, but grease thieves really are becoming a problem.”

The blogger summarizes the plot here:

The classic Simpsons episode ‘Lard of the Dance’ is about get rich quick scheme by Homer involving the sale used cooking grease for profit. (There’s a subplot about Lisa trying to fit in with the cool kids, but whatever).

When his initial undertaking yields $0.63 from cooking $27.00 worth of bacon, Homer and Bart decide to try another product supply method: Stealing grease from the fryers at their local fast food restaurant, Krusty Burger. When the pair are thwarted by the Springfield grease mafia, they move onto the mother of all grease gold mines: The school cafeteria.

Unfortunately, Homer and Bart are caught, chastised, and violently thwarted by a surprisingly buff Groundskeeper Willie for stealing what famously refers to as his “retirement grease”

You can read more about the episode here.

Homer and Bart: greasy conspirators. Innovators for our age.