Baseball bats ready for proper use in a baseball game. (EPA)

That is the only legitimate conclusion I could draw after reading the following sentence this morning in the Herald-Mail, a newspaper that never fails to entertain:

“Washington County liquor officials have absolved a Hagerstown bar owner for hitting an unruly patron over the head with a baseball bat last month.”

The commission’s vote: 3 to 0.

And that was after they reportedly heard R and K Pub owner Richard Reeder admit to the non-game-related bat use.

Prior to the swing, the customer, James Yost, had refused to leave the bar and then threatened to kill Reeder. It is unclear whether Yost had any weapons, but police documents indicate that Yost hit Reeder in the face — with a quarter.

“Reeder then took two steps closer to Yost and struck him on the left side of his head with a wooden baseball bat,” according to the statement of probable cause that the paper quoted. “Yost fell out of his chair and fell onto the ground.”

That part — the falling to the ground — certainly makes some sense. And you certainly don’t see a lot of wooden bat use these days.

Reeder and Yost are facing serious criminal charges stemming from the quarter-tossing during batting practice — I mean, fight. Sorry.

If you are headed to Hagerstown, Amazon offers a pretty nice selection of batting helmets, which you can find here.