The Washington Post

The verdict on Maryland’s new uniforms

The Maryland Terrapinsagainst Miami on Monday. (Toni L. Sandys/THE WASHINGTON POST)

This is a civil matter. It will be dealt with by me, the mayor of Rosenwald comma Maryland, swiftly and civilly and without court costs, or even a court.

I hereby rule: Maryland’s new uniforms are appalling.

I came to this verdict, despite the Terps’ nifty win over Miami, via friend-of-the-court briefs from scorched eyes around the world.

Text sent to me from my wife, a Maryland grad (twice) watching the game upstairs (normal use of telecommunications devices in my house): “Maryland uniforms giving me a headache.”

Brief judicial briefs also accumulated in my Facebook feed:

* “Holy ugly uniforms Maryland!”

* “Look like they escaped from a Renaissance Court Jester convention.”

* “Hey! That’s our state flag, and we’re proud of it!! But it does look kind of funny on a football uniform! ;)”

* “They look like crash dummies!”

* “My husband said they look like a compromise between two designers who’ve never met.”

* “ I think the right side of the helmet is giving me a seizure.”

On Twitter, the adjudications were even more harsh. Even Lebron James weighed in:

OH GOSH! Maryland uniforms #Ewwwwww!Tue Sep 06 00:03:27 via EchofonLeBron James

What did you think of Maryland’s new uniforms? Our sports department is running a poll. And please weigh in with a comment below. Let ‘em rip. How many of you are regretting watching the game in high definition?

Michael Rosenwald is a reporter on the Post's local enterprise team. He writes about the intersection of technology, business and culture.

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