MANCHESTER, NH - JANUARY 10: Republican presidential candidate, former U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum, with his wife Karen Santorum, speaks at a primary night gathering after the polls closed in the nation's first primary on January 10, 2012 at Derryfield Restaurant in Manchester, N.H. (T.J. Kirkpatrick/GETTY IMAGES)

*Since I think a twin scourge of our time is the paradoxical combo of literal-mindedness and the disregard of facts, let me hasten to make clear that yes, I know Rick Santorum was kidding when he told South Carolina voters earlier today that he’d only ever sat on a couch with his wife, Karen.

As opposed to, say – name out of the blue here -- Newt Gingrich, who couldn’t fit all three of his wives on a love seat, and, worse, once shared a sofa with Nancy Pelosi, in an ’08 commercial on how we ought to get with the program on dealing with climate change. Gingrich doesn’t think that now that he’s running for president, though. And sadly, that’s no joke.