Rush Limbaugh’s obsession with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is beginning to teeter on the side of creepy.
He really cannot shut up about her. On Friday, Limbaugh said on his radio show that he’d once met Clinton in an elevator at a wedding in Brooklyn.
According to Limbaugh, Clinton stopped the elevator and said, “Oh Rush, I’ve wanted to see you for so long, and nobody would believe it.”
Limbaugh continued, saying that Clinton asked him, “Would you, would you make a real woman out of me? I said, Sure, let’s take off our clothes. So I took mine off, and I pointed and I said, now fold them.”
Yes, these are the jokes. We know that because if Limbaugh really had stripped in an elevator with Clinton, the world would definitely know about it before now. Bill Clinton would have guffawed and mentioned it in a speech. And Limbaugh wouldn’t have been able to keep his mouth shut about it for a second. That’s because for years, he has possessed the strangest fascination with her, like the high schooler who wants the smart girl, knows he can’t have her, so he makes fun of her to hide his crush.
In April, Limbaugh mocked Clinton’s title in her role as chief U.S. diplomat, referring to her husband’s infidelities and saying: “all she is is a secretary.”
He also said in that same radio show that Clinton needed “spankles” more than Spanx. That’s throw-back Limbaugh slang, for when he called Clinton’s ankles “cankles.” I wrote then that I thought he was afraid of Clinton and that he couldn’t handle a confident woman who can take on world leaders. Now I’m not so sure.
As Limbaugh continues with his fixation with the secretary of state, he seems more and more like a stalker. Does he have a Clinton shrine with posters and candles that stay lit for her 24-7? Don’t laugh. Remember Moammar Gaddafi’s crush on Condoleeza Rice?
A search through Limbaugh’s Web site’s archives shows that he only occasionally misses the chance to say the name “Hillary.” He practically salivates when discussing a Hillary 2016 presidential run. After Clinton appeared as one of Barbara Walter’s most fascinating people of 2012 last week, Limbaugh said, “She’d be anointed. She doesn’t have to run.”
Limbaugh continued, saying how his past remarks would play in a Clinton candidacy: “They are going to point out that I once devoted this program to her getting the Democrat nomination in 2008. ‘Even Rush Limbaugh was for her at one time.’ And they will also dredge up the question I asked, and that is do the American people want to watch an aging female president in office? Let me put it differently. Do the American people want to watch a female president age before their very eyes? I did ask that question. They’ll dredge that up, too…”
Limbaugh’s archives are a treasure trove of all-things Hillary. He mentions Clinton even when she doesn’t even have anything to do with the topic of the day.
He will be a happy man this week, and it’s not because it’s almost time for Santa. Clinton, who is recovering from the stomach flu and a concussion she suffered after fainting will be unable to testify this week on Capitol Hill about the Sept. 11 attack in Benghazi, Libya, that killed four Americans, including Ambassador J.Christopher Stevens. Rush will ramble endlessly about what kind of conspiracy is behind her concussion.
But I’m worried about Limbaugh. What will he do for those months that Clinton promises she will be resting and out of the limelight after retiring from her post? However, if she gets bored, she can get a good laugh looking through Rush’s archives.
Suzi Parker is an Arkansas-based political and cultural journalist and author of “Sex in the South: Unbuckling the Bible Belt.” Follow her on Twitter at @SuziParker