Like it or not, the National Football League begins its season tonight. If you play fantasy football, you have a precious few hours to get your squad together. If you have a significant other, you have a precious few hours to do them a favor before you immerse yourself in the gridiron. Pigskin, folks. It’s back.

The weather has hit biblical proportions. I won’t make any hack jokes about locusts or frogs falling from the sky, but the rain the past few days has been immense. Nevermind the hurricane and earthquake that recently rocked the area, St. Mary’s County also saw a tornado last night. There were floods galore and Maryland is pretty much completely underwater, it seems. The Post’s Maggie Fazeli Fard reports on the damage, and even provides a photo gallery. Also, the storms knocked over a crane at the National Cathedral, sending the Sept. 11 commemoration with the president to KenCen.

Speaking of the president, Obama has a pretty important speech to deliver tonight. On the heels of a rather entertaining GOP presidential candidates’ debate, POTUS is going to address a joint session of Congress a day later than previously planned, because Speaker of the House John Boehner had something else going on last night. The Post’s Scott Wilson previews the event, highlighting how 44 has put himself in a position to once again rely on ‘The Big Speech’ to save his reputation. Sidenote: Reagan’s library looks AWESOME.

Remember that lady I mentioned last week that admitted she voted in D.C., even though she lived in Maryland? Yeah, she’s out of a job. You know why? Because if you’re the Mayor of D.C.’s deputy chief of staff, YOU DON’T ADMIT TO THE MEDIA THAT YOU COMMITTED VOTING FRAUD. The Post’s Nikita Stewart reports on Andi Pringle’s resignation from Vincent Gray’s administration. In an apparently uncorrelated manuever, former at-large Council member Sekou Biddle just quit his job to “pursue new challenges.” Interesante.

I remember the first time I heard of Burning Man. Some seemingly constantly drugged-out guy on my dorm floor showed me a ton of pictures of some crazy festival in the desert with people in wild costumes doing god knows what. I thought he was nuts, but he had the evidence to prove it was a thing. Now, the event that takes place every year in Black Rock City, Nevada is completely mainstream. The Post’s Amit R. Paley chronicles the recent popularity of the event and how to be a proper ‘Burner.’

It’s Week 1 of the NFL season, which means the Redskins are already in full-blown circus mode. The team plans to start a quarterback that everyone seems to hate, the backup thinks he deserved the job and the kicker is actually feeling good about himself. To boot, the owner is involved in a lawsuit with an alt-weekly newspaper stemmed from a story about his goofy antics. Good luck, guys!

Extra Bites

• Cupcakes have pretty much completely taken over the snack world. In addition to that unfortunate fact, it turns out that there are people who are fiending for booze while they eat $13 pastries. Sticky Fingers bakery is seeking a liquor license. Awesome.

• You can’t swing a wet newspaper these days without hitting a daily coupon service. Now Google has shockingly thrown its hat into the pit, and has launched Google Offers.

• You want to know why I eat the Fojol Bros. food? This is why.

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