1. Does anyone other than lawyers actually read any of the articles about the NFL lockout? I don’t mean reading the headline or the first paragraph, but the entire article, top to bottom, including all the quotes from legal experts? I can’t imagine that anyone other than a lawyer could get through even a paragraph about an Eighth Circuit Court of Appeals decision on the legality of a lockout without wanting to bang his head against the refrigerator. In fact, you couldn’t even get through that last sentence, could you? I barely did myself, and I was the one typing it.
2. Does anyone else find it peculiar that the person who greeted Plaxico Burress when he was released from prison was his agent? If there were family members or friends there, the TV networks sure went out of their way to ignore them — all you saw was Burress conferring with his agent, Drew Rosenhaus. On the one hand, it’s sweet and admirable in a Jerry Maguire kind of way. On the other hand, if Rosenhaus in fact was the only person there to greet Burress, that’s awfully sad in a lot of different ways. And it didn’t look like Rosenhaus even brought him a burger. Seriously, if I’m greeting someone who’s getting out of prison, you’d better believe I’m bringing a burger, some fries and a chocolate shake. (Note to self: find out when cousin is getting out of prison. And what he likes on his burgers.)
3. Does anyone know if the Bengals are changing their uniforms this season to something that doesn’t look like those ridiculous tiger-striped sweatpants that pro wrestlers and bodybuilders wore back in the 90s? I know I spend far too much time thinking about the Bengals’ uniforms, but it really is ridiculous. You cannot be a grown man or woman and root for people dressed like that. You just can’t.
4. Does anyone else find that one of the benefits of the lockout is that we don’t have to hear any of that Randy-Moss-to-the-Jets speculation, at least for a while?
5. How much do you want to bet that someone posts a comment below about the Randy-Moss-to-the-Jets speculation just to bust my chops? (Note to whoever that may be: I don’t read the comments anymore. My skin isn’t thick enough.)
6. Does anyone else find that one of the downsides of the lockout is that we get “reports” about how Tom Brady’s post-surgery foot looked good when he was spotted running on the beach or playing hopscotch?
7. Is the NFL really considering playing an eight-game season this year, or is that just an attempt to force some compromises at the negotiating table? Eight games? I’ll bet if you went back and looked at the standings after eight games for the past few seasons, you’d find so many teams bunched at 5-3 and 4-4 that you’d have to go to some ridiculous tie-breaker just to determine who would get in the playoffs had the season ended right then and there. No player wants a post-season berth decided by “most points scored within the division” or “fewest yards allowed,” and no fan does either. The NFL is not serious about an eight-game schedule, just like they aren’t serious about an 18-game schedule. It’s all about negotiating.
8. Speaking of negotiations, how was it that professional journalists routinely reported in advance about the “secret” meetings in Illinois last week? You can certainly find out after the fact about a “secret” meeting, but if you know about it ahead of time it’s not a “secret.” By definition.
9. Was anyone else surprised that Hines Ward won the Dancing With The Stars competition without Kirstie Alley accusing him of a cheap shot?
10. Do you think Reggie Bush feels sorry? I mean really, truly sorry. As I was typing this blog entry, a colleague just informed me that USC has been stripped of its 2004 national championship because of the Reggie Bush fiasco. I have no doubt that a lot of USC players and fans will be besides themselves tonight. But will Bush?