Two schlumpy bloggers become cover models for a day. Avert your eyes. That old guy on the right looks like he needs a nap. A long nap. (Cade Martin)

So Mike Rosenwald, who writes a blog about Maryland stuff, and I got together a few months back and wrote a story for the Sunday Post Magazine about which state is cooler, Virginia or Maryland. I, of course, won that debate in a rout. But then they needed photos to illustrate this duel of wise-cracking titans. A photo shoot was declared.

I’d never been to a photo shoot. First, they have food. Free food. Off to a great start. We were given fancy T-shirts to model, with words on them. No expense spared there. Next, there was the matter of a temporary tattoo painted on my arm, by makeup artist Kim Reyes. I had to shave my right arm for that. Get to the shoot, find out Rosenwald is left-handed. Have to shave my left arm. Artistic sacrifice!

The photographer was Cade Martin. This guy is legit. He had three assistants, to help with setting up the scenes and editing on the fly. I doubt he’d ever worked with two schlumpier schlumps than me and Rosenwald. Martin and his crew were very cool. The resulting cover photo (above) makes me look about 83 years old and in need of a month-long nap, but such is the life of a glamorous cover model.

For the money shot, we were trying to pay homage to this 1948 photo of Salvador Dali by Philippe Halsman for Life magazine, only without the cats:

In 1948, photographer Philippe Halsman collaborated with artist Salvador Dali, shown here in mid-air, on this photo titled "Dali Atomicus." It reportedly required 28 takes and was published in Life magazine. Not sure what the cats thought of 28 takes. (Philippe Halsman/LIBRARY OF CONGRESS)

To get a look at how this turned out, you will have to

To achieve our homage, the magazine’s photo editor, Anne Farrar, and art director, Beth Broadwater, obtained numerous items that were specific to our states: Virginia peanuts, Maryland chickens, Virginia wine, Maryland poker chips, etc.

Then, Rosenwald and I jumped up and down on mini-trampolines. (Sorry if this spoils the magic for anyone.) The mini-tramps were later removed from the photos. I, by virtue of my incredible hang time, was able to launch the Virginia wine into the air at artistic angles, as well as all over my clothes and the mini-tramp. Martin photographed other items as they were tossed into the air by Farrar. And here is Martin’s finished product:

"Schlumps Atomicus." Mike Rosenwald and I catch some air to further the debate about which state is cooler, Virginia or Maryland. (Cade Martin)

Then I drove back to The State and took off my wine-soaked clothes.

The photos look much better in the printed magazine, which will hit doorsteps and newsstands on Saturday. There is also a very funny two-page graphic which accompanies the mindless jabber that Rosenwald and I engaged in. If you can’t wait for Saturday, you can read it now here.