A man with a gun robbed the Vocelli Pizza on River Ridge Boulevard in Woodbridge on Wednesday night, Prince William County police said. He was wearing a mask like that of Kiss lead singer Paul Stanley, a surveillance photo shows.
Really, Paul Stanley? What’s he going to do, sing “I Was Made for Loving You” until he gets the $36 in the cash register? You think of Kiss, you think fire, Gene Simmons spitting blood, explosions, Ace Frehley’s heavy guitar, “Rock and Roll All Night.” When you think Paul Stanley, it’s not the same thing. He’s “the Starchild.” Why didn’t the guy wear a Peter Criss cat mask? “What, you want all our Kibbles and Bits, too?”
The robber was described as a thin black man, about 6 feet tall, 155 pounds, and probably fairly inexperienced in the art of intimidation. If you’ve seen him, or anyone who would wear a Paul Stanley mask in public, call Prince William police at 703-670-3700.