On this episode of Basketball Wives L.A.: Start spreading the news, Tacky Jackie is taking on Fashion Week. Brooke lands King Magazine, and Laura thinks very high of herself.

Cast of VH1's 'Basketball Wives LA' (Cody Bess Photography/Vh1 Networks)

Draya says that she’s surprised that someone so tacky created such nice designs. “Jackie, I’m proud of you,” Draya says. I’m not sure if Draya is being serious or if she’s being incredibly snarky, because what Jackie has dressed her in looks like it comes from a 1989 Spiegel catalog.

It’s a turquoise puff sleeved top and cheetah print booty shorts that I’m pretty sure are panties.  Jackie squeals with delight. Brooke invites the women to dinner in celebration for being featured on the cover of King Magazine. She is still upset at Draya’s non-excitement over this news.

“You hurt my fillins,” Brooke tells Draya. “I ain’t feel like you was hating or nothing.” Draya is unimpressed.  “To me, doing a magazine is like a give back to your fans,” Draya says.

“It’s like charity work.” I don’t recall Mother Teresa or Mother Hale breaking their necks to become Jet Beauties of the Week.  And what fans? Are these people deluded enough to think themselves worthy of actual fans?At Brooke’s dinner, Brooke’s lame friend Sean, the editor of King Magazine drops by to show Brooke her pictures on his iPad. Seriously? Is this what editors do these days?

Why even bother with journalism school anymore? The lames have inherited the earth. The first picture is nothing but a picture of Brooke’s butt. The second is a full frontal shot of Brooke in a too-small bikini, pulling the bottom piece down. Classy! “She’s one of the most professional models I’ve ever worked with,” Sean says.

She’s probably one of the only “models” Sean’s ever worked with. I doubt Cindy Crawford is checking for King Magazine. Sean continues to make disparaging comments about Draya. “Draya never showed up,” he says. “She bounced. I’m not chasing anybody.” Sean is a lisping creep. Draya must have really hurt his fillins. He’s so butt hurt about her not doing that photo shoot.

Sean is the type of guy who gets turned down by a woman and then tells her she was ugly anyway. What a loser. Malaysia finally has enough of Sean’s lisping and leaves the table. “Y’all enjoy this,” she says. “I’mma go to the bathroom. I’m sure husbands around the country say that when this show is on.At Jackie’s fashion show, Jackie is nervous. “It’s some harsh critics that’s going to be In the audience,” Jackie says.

Are there really? I can’t picture anyone who is anyone coming to Jackie’s show. A few stray cats, maybe a couple of winos who wandered in, but nobody who is in anyway affiliated with fashion would be caught dead at this. I don’t even think Doug is there. Jackie must’ve turned off his tracking device. Jackie outfits Draya and Malaysia in some tacky Baltimore old lady clothes.

They look like the same clothes she had Draya “model” last year. Malaysia’s outfit is even worse than Draya’s cheetah panties. She’s wearing a big collared bronze lame trench coat with what appears to be nothing underneath.Malaysia is apprehensive about walking in the show.

“If you don’t do it, I will be hurt because you’re the only one who can rock this coat,” Jackie says. I’m pretty sure Draya rocked that ugly thing last season.Jackie is worried because Laura hasn’t shown up. “Her people called and wanted her to wear this,” Jackie says. Laura has “people?” Who do what exactly? The woman carries a back pack. I doubt she’s carrying business cards in there.

All of the dramatic music leads up to nothing. Laura shows up and models for Jackie as does the rest of the cast. I’m always thinking what a MILF I am,” Laura says. I guess she has to convince herself of that. Lord knows Gilbert doesn’t.

“I’m going to make them remember Jackie Christie’s line,” Malaysia says. I’m sure they will, considering Malaysia’s left breast nearly pops out of her Baltimore old lady coat while she saunters down the runway. Jackie walks the runway with her purse strapped to her chest.

What a classy affair. Jackie designing clothes is like Oprah deciding she could sing her own theme song. Just because someone says you can, doesn’t mean you should. At some rooftop restaurant, Brooke confronts Draya yet again for not being happy enough that she landed the cover of King Magazine.

“I would like an apology,” Brooke says. “If it’s not easy for you to do, then I question our friendship.” Is this for real? This whole thing has to be producer driven. I highly doubt that Brooke is this upset that Draya is not doing Dominique Dawes floor exercise back flips over her getting the cover of a porn mag.  

“I’m not going to front to you and act like I want to pop a bottle of champagne because you got the cover of a magazine,” Draya says.“You should show some type of happiness,” Brooke says. “I am happy but you trying to force me to be happier!” Draya says. Brooke and her ill–fitting dress walk away from the table.

“I’m trying to force you to be a friend!” she says. Draya looks like she’s trying hard not to crack up. This looks so fake.

Some ignorant previews: West coast banging. Bambi is too Compton for Gloria. Gloria resembles a rat from the Bay. They thug it out in somebody’s kitchen. Until next week…The End.

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