If you're wondering, the biggest undercover major soccer fan at The Washington Post is Chris Cillizza. And he, clearly, is quite an astute observer when it comes to certain matters. Don't believe me? See: here.

Barack Obama with his grandparents, Stanley Armour Dunham and Madelyn Lee Payne Dunham in New York City. (Anonymous/ASSOCIATED PRESS)

Newsflash: If you can identify an object, by definition, it is not a UFO. But if I had seen what many motorists witnessed Wednesday night on the Beltway, I would have freaked out. The Twitters were ablaze with pictures of an object, not flying, but looking like it could, scooting across the road in Maryland. As it turns out, it was a military aircraft, apparently getting towed someplace, but the photos are nothing short of interplanetary. The Post's Maggie Fazeli Fard has the images.

High school administrators love withholding graduation rights. Every time some kid screws up, the parents and family get punished by a person threatening to leave them out of the ceremony. It's ridiculous. And when a bunch of kids at Herndon High plotted to put baby oil in a bunch of school hallways, the teachers threw the book at them. Nothing ended up happening, the kids apologized and no one was hurt. They still didn't get to walk, The Post's Donna St. George reports. No child left behind!

I mentioned Flag Day yesterday, but the Olympics are also coming up this summer. They tend to set off a wave of sartorial patriotism, which is fine by me. I may or may not have been spotted in Florida wearing a pair of stars and stripes swim trunks recently. But it's not easy to pull these things off. The Style Blog's Maura Judkis wonders what patriotic styles will take off this summer while people root for the red, white and blue.

Bryce Harper deserves to be in the All-Star Game. And so does Mike Trout. They are easily the two most exciting players in baseball, and they both are not of legal drinking age. But because Major League Baseball can be a marginally absurdist league at some times, the notion that both of these guys will play in the midsummer classic offends some people's natures. I won't speak for Trout, but The Post's Adam Kilgore explains exactly why Bryce deserves to go to Kansas City in July.

Extra Bites

• I lovelovelove old school pictures of D.C., and this Friday, GhostsOfDC.com came through huge on that front. Check out this photo of F Street NW in 1908. Seriously, 1908. There were still empires back then. And it was a leap year, btw. No joke.

• A friend of a friend is playing at Velvet Lounge tomorrow. If you know what's good for you, you should check him out. The kids call him Nature Bro.

This is not how newspapers work. Happy weekend. Call your dad. Don't ask for money.

Here's how to get at me. There's Facebook, Twitter or Instagram and you can e-mail me at clinton.yates@wpost.com.

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