In a recent conversation I had with a good friend, he told me of a gorgeous woman he saw in a grocery store. She was a jaw-dropping traffic stopper. My friend’s description of events on this day was that every man she passed displayed a noticeable change in their demeanor--resulting from their encounter with such a pretty face. He then began describing how men-- with their wife and kids or alone--acted as if time stopped when this beautiful woman passed them.

Some of these men could have talked to her. But no one did anything but pause in admiration or alter their shopping route to catch an additional glimpse--letting her slip away without saying a word.

This woman was what each of these men desired, and they couldn’t have all been married or in relationships. So what kept them from approaching her?

It was the pretty face.

The “pretty face” is my metaphor for whatever you believe is beyond your grasp in life. Fear was the obvious deterrent in these men who did not act on their obvious desire. Fear is all too common in our lives.

People generally don’t get what they want from life because they are afraid to approach it.

One of the most important things my dad taught me early on in life is “the worst thing a girl will ever tell you is ‘no.’” In my adult years this statement evolved into, “The worst thing life will ever tell you is ‘no.’

“No” inevitably leads to a “yes.”

If you hear no enough “no’s” eventually the path to creating a “yes” will unveil itself. Each “no” is instilling in you an understanding of what it takes to create a “yes.” An ego is deterred by a “no,” but humility sees that the “no” simply created another building block in the understanding of what you want to create for yourself.

Beautiful women have a certain rhythm and cadence. They know they are not the norm. In my experience, you will have no success with them until you understand their thought process, which will inevitably require a fair share of “no’s.” But once you crack the code of understanding, the floodgates open. Never allow the allure that surrounds what you want from life to intimidate you.

You can have the various things you want from life if you have the audacity to reach for them. The “yes” you’ve been waiting for is no further than your understanding of how to create it.

Approach her, she’s waiting...

Matthew C. Horne, motivational speaker and author, is president and CEO of Optimum Success International, a speaking and publishing company located in the metropolitan Washington, D.C. area. He is the author of The Universe is Inviting You In, and his newly- released book, All We Have Is NOW. To learn more about Matthew C. Horne, visit

An earlier version of this article was published in emPower Magazine

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