I can tell you what the biggest waste of time in the entire world is. And I’ll bet you’ll agree. Spending a couple of quality hours in the middle of the night perfecting the wording on what you are going tell someone the next day.

This is an exquisite exercise in machine-tooled precision of vocabulary and sentence structure. It goes something like this: Is ‘rude’ the right word, or too strong? ‘Thoughtless’ is more grown-up seeming and calmer, more reasonable. Okay, then ‘thoughtless.’ But still kind of loaded. Maybe we should turn it around to be a request for ‘thoughtfulness.’ Positive. Better. Even more adult. But then they’ll miss the point entirely. They were ‘rude!’ and it’s important to convey that!

Yes, you know the drill, if you are a human being. We are all William Shakespeare at 2 am. Several outcomes are possible. You will achieve perfection itself, and construct a lattice of words so airtight that your nemesis cannot possibly escape. Then you can return to sleep and wake up to realize you can’t remember the key phase. Or you may instead gather around you such a complicated nest of words that you ensnare yourself, give up, and go back to sleep. Or you keep at it so long that the alarm goes off AND YOU’RE STILL NOT FINISHED.

Doesn’t matter. The reason it was a waste of time is clear now, with the coffee. It wasn’t that important to begin with. Or if it was that important, the reason it’s pointless to work all night on the Big Statement is the same reason they were rude in the first place. They don’t CARE. Oh, yeah. Have a nice day.