The Washington Post

Another one bites the dust

Oh, well. Another rare species with three feet in the grave. Cute little story about it. Sharks, nautilus, rhinos, whatever. Hard to keep up. Seven billion people need lebensraum, after all. And societies are aging, so come on, people, get out there and procreate so you can take care of the oldsters!

Where are we going with this? It’s pretty clear. All those wild animals are a luxury we can no longer afford. Oh, okay, maybe keep a couple around for funny Youtubes. What’s a species worth in actual dollars, anyway? Check the menu! Picture instead a planet planted coast to coast with corn on every continent. From sea to sterile sea! Pretty inspiring if your idea of life is a perpetual dinner-theater production of Oklahoma. We can put in some corn mazes. That will be a fun planet.

Hey, we can’t save everything! We’re busy! We’re busy destroying everything. The whole planet is currently in the final climactic phase where we are strip-mining every edible or decorative or burnable thing in our frenzy to satisfy ourselves. There’s always corn! Until the climate changes, and ruins that too. THEN we’ll be satisfied, I guess.

Tom Toles is the editorial cartoonist for The Post and writes the Tom Toles blog. See all of his cartoons here.
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