The next step in technology, after a brief interval where a few brave souls dare to creep out their friends by wearing Google glass(es), will be the implantable brain-reading chip. “I think, therefore I interface.” Fututurotologists, if I may lengthen that word for no apparent reason, dream of a seamless brain-computer connection as the logical culmination of the history of mankind’s relentless drive forward to parody.

The possibilities for enhanced living start with wishing you had a beer and your personal robot, hearing your thought, fetches a cold one and delivers it to you. Actually, your refrigerator itself may bring it, since all appliances will be “smart appliances” and may be equipped with locomotive capabilities. Of course it won’t be long before the refrigerator figures out how to drink all the beer itself and then fall down the basement stairs in its drunken search for more. Either that, or maybe the refrigerator may not allow beer in the house, and lecture you about it besides, and there’s nothing you can do because it turns out you are married to the refrigerator because marriage rules got so relaxed and the two of you were out drinking that night and made some hasty and ill-considered decisions.

Anyway, the implantable thought chips should coincide with government surveillance capabilities to intercept and read them, and let’s acknowledge that your thoughts are even more embarrassing than your Facebook photos are.