DC in springtime is yet another unreal aspect of an unreal place filled with unreal people, but of the choices on offer, this is the best. People talk about the cherry blossoms, but that’s not the half of it. Everything around here blossoms in a freakishly profuse and garish flamboyance, and we’re just getting into the azaleas, the crazy florid-dress aunt of the plant kingdom.

Azalea breeders at some point colluded to come up with every possible color variety of which no two actually go together. And to amateur gardeners, that is the irresistible offer of a lifetime. If two clashing colors are good next to each other, can twelve not be better? Come visit and see.

It is as if you are Dorothy herself opening the door from the black and white world of winter, such as the season that is still called winter is these days, into the Technicolor marvel of dazzling goofiness, though your house did not land on any of the resident witches, and more colorful even than the flowers is your nose, allergic to the tree pollen.