The Washington Post

Robots! Surrender!

More robot talk but don’t forget I was talking about it here first. This Blog used to be a trailing indicator, but I’ve decided my true gift is clairvoyance, and I’m going to spend more time telling you what’s ahead. (You WILL eventually stop wearing that hideous shirt). Next: robots!

There was lots and lots of talk in the olden days (20th Century) about robots, but the only ones you ever saw were on The Television Shows. They were people in robot costumes. NOW, though, when robots are actually ALL OVER THE PLACE, and proliferating, in a non-sexual kind of way, everybody has gone weirdly quiet on the subject. (Spooky sci-fi music here). Maybe they are jamming our thought-processes, so we don’t see the threat UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE. Mission accomplished. It’s already too late.

So let’s yield! Lie back and enjoy the non-sexual caress of the glistening gadgetry. The robots are coming to take our jobs? LET THEM! This was the whole idea, way back when. Why do we want to persist in the chase for a miserable 60-hour a week job, when a machine will do it FOR US? The catch, which was never worked out, was who would continue to give you a paycheck. So let’s work that out! Get a computer on it! Robots work, we play! Sound like a plan? IT DOES TO ME! What do we have to offer in return? We’ll have fewer kids so the robots don’t have to tend to so many of us. And it will give more room for wild animals and nature for us to look at and enjoy. The reason we were having all those kids in the first place was for we needed more workers. DON’T anymore! And for soldiers! How about we let the robots do the fighting! They already are! Win-win! Come on! Let’s give it a whirrrrrrr!

Tom Toles is the editorial cartoonist for The Post and writes the Tom Toles blog. See all of his cartoons here.
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