Is it really like this? I tend to describe (and view) my life in somewhat Kafkaesque terms, because it’s more interesting and because I like the term. But sometimes it seems like I am actually K himself. For example, my inauguration experience (see yesterday’s blog post). For another, I don’t like darkness in the daytime, yet somehow I find myself living in places with dark-painted walls. This may have something to do with various family members’ tastes, but the fact is I have wielded the paint roller in my very own hand, and watched all the available light get sopped up by the growing expanses of blackish-red ‘color’ I am inflicting on the plaster. This results in what has always seemed to me to be a curious lighting phenomenon. A lamp in a room painted such a way illuminates only itself. You can see the bulb there, glowing in a way that identifies its location and the fact that it is turned ‘on.’ But no light flows outward to brighten any aspect of the vicinity around it.

And now, I am experiencing the ‘heater’ version of that bulb-in-a-dark-room effect. I have a nice office space in a nice office building in downtown Washington, DC, a nice city except for some of the people in it. And this office space has a WINDOW. When I interviewed here I was shown this ‘window’ area, but mistakenly assumed that there was GLASS in it. The wall of windows along which I work has the curious phenomenon, in cold weather, of having NO HEAT. I am, as I type, wearing my WINTER JACKET. The sweater I tried yesterday did nothing except make me feel like Mr. Rogers. It’s a COAT for me today, and a space heater. But the ‘space’ the ‘space heater’ actually ‘heats’ is only the heater itself. You can touch it, and it feels warm, yet no heat actually transfers out into THE ROOM, or to THE ME. Earlier, I actually opened my jacket and was LYING ON THE HEATER, to keep from BEING DEAD, which is what bodies are, when they get to a certain temperature.. My figners aer so clod, ist gttenig vrey hrad to tpye. I just figured out I could close the window blinds tight, which might keep out some of the freeze, but now it is pitch dark in here, except for that small bulb I can see glowing over there.

Certain arguments generate more heat than light. (Make that EVERY argument in Washington). I would welcome either. Maybe I need to start a rant. Commenters have my permission to start one for me.