“Hello, my darlings — I miss you!” Barbara Walters, 83, gushed as she phoned in to The Ladies of the View” late Wednesday morning.
As Babs finally explained on the phone, she had a temperature and the chicken pox on the day she attended the inaugural party at the British Embassy in Washington. When it was reported she’d fallen on the steps outside the embassy, she said, she’d actually fainted.
“If you’re going to faint it’s an elegant place to faint,” Babs explained with pride.
In the fall, she hit her head, giving her a concussion and landing her six stitches.
“I do feel weak and tired and probably won’t be back on the program for about three weeks, but that doesn’t mean I don’t listen to every single word,” that’s being said on the show, she warned.
The Ladies discussed whether they should send Babs that case of calamine lotion, like they’d planned.
“You know what’s amazing… after all these years, we still have nothing you can put on the itching except calamine lotion,” Babs marveled.
“We have Facebook and Twitter — and calamine lotion.”
It’s those non sequiturs we have been missing all these days since Babs was last seen on “The View” — those and the big “gets” Babs brings to the show — interviews that can make all the difference, ratings-wise, particularly during sweep derbies.
Remember when Babs landed President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama in fall of ’12, making their very first joint visit to “The View” (so as to preempt the Romneys) and bringing Babs a birthday basket of White House goodies because she always “pilfers” things when she visits the White House anyway?
Remember Rielle Hunter?
Remember Mariah Carey, who came to talk to her pal Babs about hiring protection for her baby twins from Nicki Minaj’s camp on “American Idol”?
Remember Babs’ sit-down with America’s favorite train wreck Lindsay Lohan on the eve of her “Liz & Dick” debut on Lifetime — oh, never mind on that last one.
Anyway, “The View” moderator Whoopi Goldberg cut off the conversation after just a few minutes, telling Babs to go rest.
In lieu of a great Babs interview, “The View” booked Kris Jenner, a.k.a. Mama Kardashian, on Wednesday’s show, who almost immediately announced she would not divorce her husband, Bruce Jenner “not in a million, bazillion years,” setting that rumor to rest for the next five minutes.