More than 55 million votes were logged for the Idolettes this week on “American Idol.” Which is 25 million more than last week and a record at this stage of the competition, show host Ryan Seacrest reveals at the top of Thursday’s results show.
In what may be another, welcome, “Idol” first, the Group Lip Synch is out -- the 11 Idolettes will be divvied up tonight to perform and then learn their fate.
Lauren Alaina and Scotty McCreery sing “I Told You So.” “Idol” winner Carrie Underwood and Randy Travis sang this song on the show in 2009. Draw your own conclusions.
Anyway, they’re both safe.
Jacob Lusk and Naima Adedapo are brought to center stage to sing Ashford and Simpsons’ “Solid.” Naima is outsinging Jacob by several laps tonight. Naturally, Jacob is safe – Naima is not, and she moves to a Perch of Purgatory.
Third season “Idol” winner Fantasia Barrino sings her new song about “Collard greens and cornbread…you’re my sweet potato pie…I can’t get enough of you.”
She’s singing about her boyfriend, not lunch, right?
Seacrest asks Fantasia to tell the Idolettes what is the one thing she knows now that she wishes she’d known back when she was a contestant. Of course the right answer is that she now knows that coming in No. 7 was the better career springboard in season No. 3 – not winning (hello, Jennifer Hudson!).
But, instead, Fantasia goes with: the music industry is a tough racket and that surrounding yourself with Yes Men is not a good idea.
It’s pretty depressing.
Haley Reinhart, Thia Megia, and Pia Toscano are brought to the stage to sing Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream.”
Pia is wearing pants! And she moves! Well, mostly she bends at the knees.
Seacrest announces Pia is safe. Ditto Haley. Thia’s not. Thia plants herself on a Perch of Purgatory.
Seacrest introduces The Idol Rocker Lifestyle Sequence:
Mere seconds are devoted to showing the Idolettes recording their songs at Interscope, attending a charity event, shooting their music video. Then comes the high drama: Escape from Palazzo Foreclozzo!
“Like so many homes in L.A. when it rains – they leak,” Seabiscuit says lamely, as we see water dripping from ceilings, water splashing into tin cans on the floor of the alleged Beverly Hills mansion.
That cheap short-term lease you got isn’t looking like such a deal now, is it, “Idol” producers -- now that you have to move the sodden Idolettes to a warm, dry hotel, packing their things up like some sorry refugees.
“There’s water coming out of the ceiling that’s causing the lights to flicker, says Pia as she packs her things. Casey is seen dragging his belongings in black trash bags. They all pack up into vans.
Bye bye, Palazzo Foreclozzo!
The next day in the life of the Idol Rocker Lifestyle, Mr. Jennifer Lopez rehearses the Idolettes. That segues into the “most electrifying performance night” and “one of our most dramatic Thursday result shows ever,” Seabiscuit says.
See Casey get the boot. See Casey saved. See Casey nearly pass out on stage. Meet Dr. Shaun Nasseri. See Dr. Nasseri make Casey lie down backstage, and telling Casey it’s okay to cry after that trying experience.
Time for another Idolette group performance. James Durbin, Paul McDonald, Casey, and Stefano Langone formed a band while living together at the palazzo. However good they are individually, multiply that times four, then divide by eight for the total effect of their band’s performance of “Band on the Run.” “Idol” judge Steven Tyler says the makeshift band can open for Aerosmith’s next tour. Tyler is counting on not being held to that.
Funny that record industry mogul/”Idol” in-house mentor Jimmy Iovine and his Group of Infallible Genius Hit Making Producers can’t produce a group-sing that sounds like anything better than three or four people just singing together. Then again, Results Nights may not be in their contracts.
Ryan reminds Casey that more than 55 million votes were cast this week after he got saved last week, adding, “and, my friend, if you knew how many you got you’d be very proud. You are safe.”
James is also safe. Ditto Stefano, but not Paul, who rounds out our Bottom 3.
Time to promo the upcoming animated flick “Rio.” Jamie Foxx and will.i.am wander through a crowd of dancers, like two lost American tourists at Carnival, singing a song that goes like this:
“I wanna party,
I wanna samba.”
“Look at the superstar power!” Seabiscuit marvels when it’s over.
Time to cut two Idolettes: Paul is pronounced safe. Thia and Naima are out.
Naima was going sooner or later – she was too quirky for the “Idol” electorate. But she’s undeniably an interesting stage presence and voice. She should just click her heels together three times and repeat “Jennifer Hudson” and fly out of there.
As for Thia Megia, well, we’ll miss saying her name.